


Mistlefoe

by strikeyourcolors



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bat Family, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strikeyourcolors/pseuds/strikeyourcolors
Summary: With forced house arrest, a poisoning, a  charity holiday lights display, last minute shopping, accidental lipstick drugging, and mistletoe based violence, chaos reigns supreme in the days leading up to Christmas. But the Batfamily? They thrive in chaos.  In other words, pointless holiday humor and fluff with some feelings mixed in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a not-so-serious holiday one shot, set at some ambiguous time when Bruce can still control his kids and the game of mistlefoe would not escalate into an all out brawl in the batcave.

"You're setting up a Christmas lights display," Tim said slowly, enunciating each word so there was no way he could be misunderstood. "Around Wayne Manor, which you will open to the public."

"Yes," Bruce answered calmly. Alfred, standing beside him and distributing carefully prepared tea cups, nodded an affirmative. "After what Poison Ivy did to the park where the event is usually held, they were scrambling to find an alternative location with that much space. And you know the money raised goes to the repair fund for the Gotham Orphanage. It's the most money they bring in all year."

Tim did know that. He'd volunteered to help set up the electronic timers for the light and coordinate the shows to music last year. "The grounds of Wayne Manor," Tim repeated patiently. "Open to the public." They nodded again. "At _night _," He stressed. Was he really the only one who saw a problem with this?__

__"If even Drake with his less than astute planning skills can realize the problem in this," Damian cut in. "I find it difficult to believe either of you have not considered the ramifications." Well, that answered that question. Of course Damian would protest this plan._ _

__"Really, Master Timothy," Alfred sniffed as he placed his tea down. "I would think you would understand the necessity of charity during this season. It will only be the front lawn and the West grounds. I am sacrificing the well cultivated lawn and several of the shrubbery. I believe you and Master Damian can agree to have strangers contained to their vehicles on the grounds."_ _

__Was he really being lumped in with Damian? "You remember you're Batman, right?" He asked Bruce. "You remember that the secret identity thing hinges on the Batmobile not cutting line in Candy Cane Village and rocketing out the driveway?"_ _

__"The entrance to the cave is on the opposite side and well obscured by the tree line. We've tested it," Bruce replied in that tone that clearly suggested Tim was taking him for an amateur. It was the Bat version of 'when I was your age' and Tim grimaced a little. "I do understand your reservations and if there was any other location to be provided on this short of notice then I would happily ask them to take the festivities there."_ _

__"You could just donate the money," Tim suggested hopelessly._ _

__Bruce shook his head. Tim could tell he had considered that too. "I've asked the family to remain on the grounds for the duration of the display, which should only be a week. It will allow us more supervision of our visitors and someone to remain behind while there are others present. Someone who will not turn on the security lasers in the front lawn," Bruce said and Damian crossed his arms defiantly over his chest. Damian probably would not be doing Manor security duty._ _

__"Tis the Season," Tim agreed at last. "Though if your cover gets blown over something as dumb as this, you'll never live it down. "Billionaire playboy caught as vigilante due to fire started by ignition jet pack used too close to a plastic Santa."_ _

__Bruce sipped his tea. "You both are over-estimating how cumbersome this will be. Trust me, you won't even remember its there."_ _

__\-----  
As it turned out, everyone remembered it was there. Tim once again helped set up the system to time the lights to music and even he was startled by how many lights there were. The loud speakers that didn't do a very good impression of rocks were likewise multiplying on their lawn. The already lengthy driveway had been roped off in places and expanded in others to create a kind of trail that one could get lost in but definitely not speed through. It was at least a twenty minute drive-through on a golf cart in the daylight; Tim knew they were going to have traffic problems pretty much immediately. Bringing any of his concerns to the director of the project was met with a laugh and a reassurance that they do this every year. Fortunately Bruce had at least stopped their plan to obtain live reindeer. _ _

__Under instruction, the family was home. Dick, Steph, and Cass were all taking up their respective rooms. Barbara swore she was too busy but would swing by for a few hours one night to bask in the festive air. Tim thought that was code for their misery. Dick and Steph found the whole thing entirely magical and Cass seemed curious about the purpose. Damian scowled and muttered but Tim could tell he liked the lights, just not the people. It set him on edge as well._ _

__They had their first vehicle-escape attempt the first night the lights were open to the public. Cars stretched on for miles, ambling through the displays. At a particularly close (if 30 yards was close) turn to the manor itself, a matronly woman burst out of the passenger side of the car she was in, hustling up a rock-lined path toward the patio garden. Of course the cameras registered the movement. Fortunately it was before anyone was out for the night for their more questionable activities._ _

__Dick ended up corralling her before she actually set foot on the patio. "We're so sorry," He told her, but his hands were firmly around her arm and he was all but carrying her back to the car. "We can't have anyone get out of their car. Home Owner's Insurance is through the roof on a place like this, you know? I'm sure _you_ wouldn't cause us any trouble but if we make allowances for you, we'd have to let everyone out." _ _

__The woman sniffled, but Dick's easy charm seemed to soothe her. She only made the smallest of outraged squawks when he shoved her back into her car and hit the door lock before shutting her back in. It had only delayed the line of cars perhaps thirty seconds, but he grimaced anyway. Hopefully the excitement would die down. During a particularly vicious game of rock, paper, scissors, he'd lost the right to go out in costume until the display on their lawn was finally closed for the night. And by lost, he meant that Damian had tried to sucker punch him in the gut and when he flailed to protect himself, had declared that Dick's hand was in the shape of paper and therefore he won._ _

__The lights also meant they were prisoners in their real lives. From dark until patrol time there was no way off the property short of pulling a car into line and ambling out. Bruce insisted the bat cave only be used as necessary, apparently allowing paranoia to get the better of him at last. The second night they were out of board games to play and had taken to helping Alfred fully decorate the manor. He'd purchased several sprigs of mistletoe and that was how their next holiday game was born._ _

__"If you catch someone standing under the mistletoe," Steph explained to Damian "You give them a kiss. It's good luck or something! Come here, Dick!" She pulled him close and gave him a noisy kiss on the cheek. Dick twined his arm around her, always eager for any kind of affection. "See," She told Damian who was looking absolutely disgusted. "You notice I kissed him on the cheek because I'm sure his mouth has been in some very disgusting places."_ _

__"Not recently," Dick protested but he wasn't offended enough to release her. Stephanie had to squirm her way free. Cass watched silently, bemused, but she didn't seem to have many questions._ _

__"Let's practice." Steph dangled the mistletoe over Damian's head and smirked. "Pucker up, squirt." Tim had to give the demon spawn credit, he had quite a nice ability to headbutt someone. He jerked Stephanie toward him as she leaned in for a kiss, slamming his head against hers and leaving her stunned on the marble flooring. Damian stomped away, Dick chasing after him to tell him how that was definitely not appropriate._ _

__She groaned and Tim moved over to help her back to her feet. "You should have known better," He scolded her. "You know shows of affection to Damian are like flu shots without the strain of the virus that's going around this year." She stared at him in confusion so he clarified. "Painful and not particularly worthwhile. I'm honestly impressed he hasn't burst into flames due to all the holiday cheer outside."_ _

__Stephanie rubbed her face. It would probably only leave a light bruise. "I'll make that kid love mistletoe. You'll see. He won't be able to get enough of it."_ _

__She was right. She launched her idea about the mistletoe that night at dinner as they scarfed down a stew that Alfred bemoaned the quality of but tasted good and would be filling and warm when they went out. It was supposed to sleet tonight and that was never fun. "I think we should hang the mistletoe," Stephanie announced and they all looked at her, wondering if the blow to the head gave her amnesia about how she got that blow to the head. "But we don't kiss under it," She continued, unperturbed. "If you see someone under the mistletoe, you have to _fight_ them. Mistle _foe_ if you will." _ _

__For a moment they were all silent. "I like it," Cass said, showing a flash of her teeth that might have been a smile but was a little too predatory. "How far do we fight?"_ _

__"I prefer kissing," Dick protested. "But at least to be pinned or something. If we break anything else antique or heirloom then we'll probably have to sleep outside in that nativity scene made out of cardboard boxes."_ _

__"Fight to yielding or pinning then," Stephanie agreed._ _

__Tim looked at Bruce to see if he would stop this madness but he had barely looked up from the stew he was shoveling into his mouth. He had a lead tonight that would take him into Red Hood's territory. That was never going to be a good night and he wanted to get out there as quickly as possible. "It would be a good training exercise," Bruce said. "I don't mind as long as you don't destroy anything."_ _

__Tim groaned. Damian looked a little excited at the prospect of mistlefoe, the little monster. Of course Steph could make him love the plant by associating it with violence. "I'll stay in tonight," Tim offered. All the better to scope out the positions of the mistletoe and plan accordingly._ _

__Fortunately that night they only had three people who tried to get to the manor itself. One was a child who desperately needed to pee and Tim forgave that easily enough, directing the little girl and her mother to the powder room off the main hall but making certain they couldn't be seen by anyone else in case they got similar ideas._ _

__The second runner was a reporter who was not-so-gently threatened with a call to his employer if he invaded their privacy again. The last was a teenager who seemed to have plans to steal one of the elves from Santa's workshop. Tim made certain the lights were also rigged to give a nasty shock to anyone who touched the elves. He didn't make it on patrol that night._ _

__He came to what passed for breakfast for their family to hear the sound of yelling from Bruce's study. His eyes flickered to Dick who shrugged, but looked appropriately pained. "Jason got hurt last night. Shot and poisoned. No problems but the poison could reappear in his bloodstream any time in the next forty-eight hours."_ _

__"He doesn't want to stay," Tim guessed._ _

__"He doesn't want to stay," Dick replied sadly. He looked so forlorn that Tim actually caved in, giving his older brother a hug. Dick got so caught up in the past sometimes and it was Christmas and Tim really was going a little soft when it came to family. "Where is everyone else?" Dick asked after a moment._ _

__Tim lifted his head to see a little sprig of green, topped with red berries and tied with a red bow, hanging off the chandelier above them. "Shit," He whispered._ _

__"What?" Dick asked, looking up just in time to witness Damian leaping from one of the rafters in the ceiling, sole of his shoe aimed square at them. "Aaah!"_ _

__"MISTLEFOE," Damian yelled, crashing into their hug from above. Tim got a knee to the clavicle while Dick got a heel to the chin and there was a mad scramble of limbs as they tried to separate and right themselves. Tim lashed out, backhanding Damian. Dick elbowed him sharply in response and Tim yelped._ _

__"Who am I even fighting?" He demanded as Damian took another swing at him. "We're on the same team, Dick!"_ _

__"There aren't teams in Mistlefoe," Damian argued. He climbed Dick like a tree, thighs wrapping around the back of his head as he heaved him forward, sending him smashing into Tim. Dick was pulling his punches with the kid and they were both about to suffer for it._ _

__When Jason emerged from Bruce's office, Tim was on his back on the floor with Dick draped on his belly on top of him, and Damian sitting triumphantly on his back. He lifted one eyebrow at them. "I thought this place was about peace and love and harmony. I see that claim was bullshit."_ _

__Dick tipped his head to the side, making his cheekbone stab into Tim's aching shoulder. "Little Wing," He offered happily._ _

__Tim groaned. Somewhere upstairs he heard Steph's scream, followed by her thundering steps through the hallway. He caught sight of her in a fluffy pink bath towel, Cassandra hot on her heels. "You can't put mistlefoe outside the shower while I'm in it! That's cheating! New rule! You must at least have underwear on in order to play mistlefoe!"_ _

__"Mistlefoe?" Jason asked Bruce. He looked at them all like they'd lost their collective minds. They probably had._ _

__"Training exercise," Bruce explained. At least they weren't yelling anymore. "Would you like breakfast?"_ _

__"That depends. Are you going to put hypodermics in my Fruit Loops? Ketamine in the bacon?" Jason stepped over the pile of bodies, mindful not to get near the mistletoe. What was a safe radius to keep? Damian was watching him like a hawk._ _

__"Why would I even have horse tranquilizers in the kitchen, Jason?" Bruce asked as they walked ahead._ _

__"Ah so you do have them, just not in the kitchen!"_ _

__"Jason."_ _

__Tim didn't hear the rest. He was too busy squirming, trying to get out from under Dick and Damian's combined weights. "Can't breathe," He protested. "Get off."_ _

__Dick at least made an effort to get free, clearly eager to go badger Jason a little more. A visit from Jason was a rare treat, even if they were starting to get along a bit better. Tim gave him a decently wide berth but sometimes they had civil conversations. They could play chess together or talk about whatever dumb zombie movie had recently come out without Jason attempting to shoot him._ _

__Damian remained unmoved. At least until Dick flipped completely around, lifting Damian bridal style. "Grayson!" He yelled, thrashing, giving Tim enough time to slip free and make a break for it. If there was bacon he needed to be in the kitchen as quickly as possible to get some. He didn't even care if it did have Ketamine in it._ _

__"Then you fight the person standing under the plant," Cass was telling Jason as Tim entered the dining room. He grinned. Tim winced. Bruce studiously ignored them. He at least was planning to go to the office today but he'd reassured Tim and Damian that they should stay away and enjoy the holiday. As though that were an activity to be done._ _

__"I like this game," Jason said, spearing some scrambled eggs on the end of his fork._ _

__Cassandra nodded, eager._ _

__\-----  
They split up for the festivities of Christmas Eve Day. Stephanie wanted to take Damian and Cassandra ice-skating and shopping. Dick wanted to see a movie with Jason which was probably an excuse to corner him and make him discuss feelings. However, Dick had the quick-acting antidote to the poison in Jason's system so really he didn't have much of a choice except to hang out with him if he wanted to survive. _ _

__Tim had tried to keep Bruce or Alfred company but was eventually sent to keep watch over Damian. Better than than with his apparent brothers. He was not willing to let Dick cry on him again. Last time he had been dripping with snot by the time it was over and the mention of 'Marley and Me' could still send him into a cold, panicked sweat._ _

__"If Jason is going to be there for Christmas, he needs presents," Stephanie said as they entered the mall. It was crowded, both with things and with people._ _

__"I do not wish to make purchases for Todd," Damian protested. "I was promised ice skating." Tim privately agreed with Damian._ _

__"Tough shit," Stephanie replied. "Your dad says you have to."_ _

__"Father is sometimes misguided in his attempts to bring Todd closer to him," Damian pointed out. "Perhaps if you had taken us to an ammunition supplier or a drug dealer we may find something to interest Todd. I do not believe a reindeer sweater or a kitchen appliance will inspire feelings of trust."_ _

__"Jason doesn't do drugs," Tim noted._ _

__"I was assuming we would bring a particular dealer bound and gagged," Damian replied. "And wrapped, I suppose, if it is to be his gift."_ _

__Cassandra looked like she was contemplating that. "A kitchen appliance," She suggested. "He cooks."_ _

__Tim wanted to question how she knew that but it was a good place to start. "We'll go to the kitchen store," Tim volunteered, hand on Cass just so there could be no misunderstanding as to who the 'we' he referred to was. "Why don't you find him a dorky sweater to match Dick's? We'll meet at the skating rink."_ _

__Steph clapped her hands together. "Oh I know just the sweater! Come on, Damian. If you're good I'll let you go sit on Santa's lap."_ _

__Tim thought that would end with Santa having a katana shoved through his brain, but it wasn't his problem this afternoon._ _

__

__Meanwhile, going to see a movie had turned out to be Dick's way of luring him into the manor's screening room. They had a plethora of junk food around the sinfully comfortable couch and actually had a relatively good run of it. The first movie was a new release about spies that Dick had bootlegged. They made outrageous fun of the action sequences, cackling over the fight scenes._ _

__"Dude just got hit in the face with a two by four," Jason pointed out. "There's no way he'd get up again."_ _

__"Jay," Dick replied. "I've seen you get hit in the face with a two by four and it just pissed you off even more than you were already."_ _

__"I'm different," Jason protested. "This guy wasn't even wearing a helmet!"_ _

__It continued in that vein and Dick felt himself relaxing. With Bruce safely out of the manor and the only person disturbing them Alfred, Jason was actually starting to be fun. Dick forgot sometimes that he was only a few years younger than himself, only a couple older than Tim._ _

__The afternoon progressed to Christmas movies. "I loved these as a kid," Dick confessed, rolling over so his legs were above his head on the couch. He stuck another licorice strand in his mouth. "In the circus we couldn't put up the big stuff, you know? We had a tiny tree when we had one and my parents wrapped my presents the night before. Santa didn't come down a chimney for me. I liked seeing how people in houses had Christmas. It blew my mind when I came here."_ _

__Jason nodded agreement. His first Christmas at Wayne Manor had blown his mind too, but probably for different reasons. It wasn't that his Christmas traditions were different, it was that they had never been at all. "You got a car," He told Dick, jabbing at him with one finger. "I was so pissed off about that. What kind of kid gets an entire car as a Christmas present?"_ _

__Dick rubbed his poked arm. "I had just wrecked the other one in pursuit of justice! I used it as a barricade so the police could catch the robber that hit all those jewelry stores. I didn't think they'd actually plow into it!" He ducked his head momentarily, looking sad, but Jason could see him cramming some gummies into his mouth. "I loved that car."_ _

__"Bruce bought you that car, too," Jason pointed out. He was just throwing cars at you at that point. He wouldn't even get me that motorbike I wanted."_ _

__"Because you crashed the one you had into the lake," Dick protested. It still amazed him a little bit that Robin was allowed to, rarely, drive the Batmobile and Jason had been banned from having any type of motorized vehicle on mansion grounds. "Besides, Bruce bought a car for you. He was having it rebuilt to give to you when you got your permit and it was way nicer than mine."_ _

__There was a moment of silence between them, punctuated by the movie still playing in the background. Dick swallowed the remainder of the gummies in his mouth, feeling them go down his throat in a slow, painful slide. Bruce had a thing about giving cars to his children when they reached a certain age. Nice cars. And Jason...Jason had died before he ever received his. The childish anger and jealousy he'd felt when Bruce told him what he bought for Jason was a lifetime away, yet Dick felt his cheeks heating up. "I'm sorry," He said._ _

__Jason rolled his eyes, popping the tab on another soda and leaning his head back. "How much nicer was it than yours?"_ _

__Dick leaped into describing the car. He may have added in a few details about machine guns and a rocket launcher, but by the end of it Jason was making positively pornographic noises as he critiqued each function. Dick could tell Jason would have loved the car and it was a little bittersweet he hadn't gotten the chance to receive it. Still, as even Jason pointed out, there was no fixing what had happened. There was just moving on. Sometimes he wondered why Jason didn't take his own advice._ _

__"Oh come on," Jason yelled, throwing popcorn at the screen. "He would be dead from falling off that roof! Especially if he landed on the mailbox! The lights around his ankle would have snapped his spine!" He cut his eyes to Dick and Dick was struck by how blue they were. There was that ever present green overlay that turned them teal, but it wasn't flaring up. Jason was relaxed. Considering that he was still actively poisoned and back home, that was impressive._ _

__\--------  
Stephanie Brown had definitely had better shopping excursions. Even a credit card with no apparent limit didn't make up for having to drag a clawing little hell spawn through crowds of holiday shoppers. They had detoured into a toy store since Damian expressed an interest and Steph approved of anything that made him seem more like a normal kid, only for her to be running away like she was in her Batgirl uniform instead of a festive snowman jumper. _ _

__"What did you do?" Stephanie demanded on Damian as they shoved their way down an escalator. "You can't just jam someone's head through a dollhouse window, Damian. You can't stick a toy snake down their throat!"_ _

__"Then you know what I did," Damian answered. He jumped over the railing of the escalator and Steph's heart was in her throat until she saw him landing safely on the ground, not even crushing anyone in his wake. She hurried her steps to the bottom, wheeling around, only to have a hand catch her wrist. She shrieked, ready to defend herself from the mother of the kid Damian had punched into a shelf, in what would be the most epic holiday slap fight of all time. Fortunately, it was Cassandra who was watching her with dark and serious eyes._ _

__"I suppose the guards running toward the east wing was your fault?" Tim asked idly. Damian edged in between them, not for comfort but because it was easier to hide._ _

__"I had to defend Father's honor," Damian explained. "They were joyously insulting him as though he does not save this city of fools over and over again." He paused, green eyes narrowing at them. "They insulted his hygiene and vehicular maintenance skills!"_ _

__"Oh my God," Tim said flatly, looking to Steph. "Has he never heard the song? Really?"_ _

__Cass looked curious, glancing up to see the security guards had quickly lost sight of them in the crowd of people. "What song?"_ _

__Tim left Steph to explain it to her and crouched a little to look at Damian. It would probably be a mistake when he punched him in the face, but he wanted to try. "It's just a stupid song," Tim offered. He couldn't laugh or that would ruin it. Then he really would get punched. "And you have to admit that Bruce can get pretty ripe when he works those long shifts. The Batmobile has even lost a wheel more than once."_ _

__"I do _not_ lay eggs," Damian snarled._ _

__"The song is old enough that I'm pretty sure it started when Dick was still Robin, if that makes you feel any better. Jason was never pleased with the part about the Joker getting away." Probably with good reason, with what the Joker had done. "Though it wouldn't end the song on a very positive note with the Joker's neck being snapped between Red Hood's massive thighs."_ _

__"I would approve," Damian argued, but at least he wasn't baring his teeth any more. Tim gathered up their various shopping bags. Apparently they'd done more than buy for Jason._ _

__"Let's put these in the car and go skating," He offered, trying to get the day back on track._ _

__"You boys put those in the car," Steph told him with a flirtatious smile that once would have done uncomfortable things to his heart. And possibly his pants. "We'll get pretzels and hot chocolate for everyone."_ _

__If Tim had his choice of people to go into an ill-lit, freezing parking garage with, Damian would be somewhere low on the list between Ra's Al Ghul and a disgraced heiress with a desperate mother. He sighed, transferring some of the bags into Damian's hands. "Come on. The sooner we go the sooner we can be warm again."_ _

__Steph gave him a little wave as they walked away. Cassandra imitated her and Tim heard her question if hot chocolate was supposed to go with pretzels._ _

__\----  
"Master Dick," Alfred said as he entered the theater room. Jason stirred a little, having fallen asleep half on top of Dick. Being shot and losing massive amounts of blood did make you crash in unexpected places. Dick looked to him, pretending he hadn't also been on the verge of taking a nap. _ _

__"It appears Master Bruce has been...unlawfully detained, as it were. Ms. Kyle needs some assistance removing him from her residence." His tone suggested this was a normal thing. For them, it probably was. Dick shifted a little awkwardly, trying to scoot away without jostling Jason, who just kept putting more and more weight on him._ _

__"I'll get right on it." He checked his watch. "And hopefully I'll be back before dark. Did she say what was wrong?"_ _

__Alfred started tidying up their mess. That made Jason move, apparently not asleep at all any more, to assist the butler. He never did like to leave a mess for other people to clean up. "Perhaps he had too much to drink at a holiday party," Alfred offered._ _

__But they both knew that wasn't going to be the case. Dick stood up and stretched, checking to make sure he still had pants on. "You want to ride shotgun, Jason?"_ _

__Jason's eyes narrowed. "You don't think I'll punch you, steal the antidote you have, and take my chances in one of my apartments?"_ _

__"What's to stop you from doing that here? Really, Jason. Think ahead. You wouldn't be able to inject yourself by the time you felt symptoms anyway, and unless you have a bolt hole in one of the hospitals this would be the fastest way to get medical treatment." He finished off one of his drinks, toeing his shoes back on. "Let's go."_ _

__"Fine," Jason agreed reluctantly. "But you remember I can't lift more than fifty pounds before my bullet wound closes up, right? Which means I'm not going to be carrying Bruce while you flirt with Selina. That woman is hot. I want an unobstructed view of her."_ _

__Alfred moved about the room, putting it back in order as they left. Dick selected one of the more discreet cars and, with the address obtained from the butler, they were off. Not to a posh apartment downtown where Dick would have guessed but to a little house on the edge of what looked like it had once been a suburb before Gotham's sprawl had enveloped it. It was probably not her actual house; it simply didn't fit Selina's style or preferred locale in the least. Dick was relieved it wasn't a seedy motel of some kind. He liked the air of plausible deniability for Bruce, as though he had simply been paying a friend a holiday visit and become ill._ _

__"I wasn't expecting you," Selina said as she answered the door. Her gaze slid over to Jason. “And I'm not sure I want to recognize you.” Selina's makeup was perfect, her dark hair styled. She had diamond earrings on and except for the fact she was wearing a red silk robe, she looked like she could have been recently at any number of society functions. Probably was, until they took the party here._ _

__“Well we're what you got if you want him toted out of here and not dumped on the street curb,” Jason said, then reconsidered. “Maybe dumped on a street curb but not one close by. Anything to help a pretty lady out.”_ _

__Jason smiled at her. Selina smiled back. Dick cleared his throat. "Bruce?" He prompted._ _

__"Right," She agreed, opening the door to let them in. "This really is a bit awkward with you boys. I was expecting someone with a little less of a filial relationship with him." She didn't seem all together certain in that regard and Dick couldn't fault her for it; he barely knew what their relationship status was with Bruce on most given days. The front door opened up into a nice living area, festively decorated for the holiday. Bruce was on the couch, partially dressed. His suit pants were undone and his dress shirt was open except for two buttons at his stomach, doggedly hanging on. The jacket and belt were draped nearby. Bruce was panting, staring at the lit-up Christmas tree with glossy, dilated eyes. Dick stared at Selina, who shrugged gracefully. "I didn't intend for this to happen. It seems I may have mixed my lipstick up with Ivy's."_ _

__Dick stifled a groan. Great. Just what they needed to deal with on Christmas Eve. Dick gestured at Bruce, a little helpless. "Could you...I don't know. Dress him? This is hedging in on bringing back some uncomfortable memories." Because, really, who hadn't been sex-pollen ed at some point during their career. It wasn't that he wouldn't or couldn't dress Bruce, it was simply that when there was an available hand who might not feel awkward doing it, he was more than happy to allow said hand to jump in and touch any naughty bits._ _

__Dick realized that Jason wasn't chiming in...and that Jason wasn't even in the room. He was about to yell when Jason wandered back in with a cookie halfway eaten. "Where did you get that?"_ _

__Jason shrugged. "I found it."_ _

__Dick's mind boggled to process the fact that Jason, the most paranoid of them all, would eat a cookie he found in the home of a known villain where they were picking up their sex-drugged foster father. At least Selina had done Bruce's pants back up and buttoned his shirt most of the way. Dick could probably pretend he was drunk or something on the way home._ _

__"Not to break up the party, boys," Selina cut in. If she cared Jason was eating a cookie he found in her kitchen, she didn't say anything. "But I called for a pick up because I have company coming over. Company that should not find Bruce Wayne on my couch." She started to pull him up off the couch and Dick moved to drape Bruce's arm over his shoulders when it became clear Bruce would not be standing on his own power. "I caught on pretty quickly to the lipstick and we worked most of it out of his system so this shouldn't last long."_ _

__"Ew," Dick said. "Thank you for that mental image." At least Bruce was silent. Dick wouldn't be able to stand it if he was moaning and he didn't think he had any sedatives in the car._ _

__“Your trauma is worth my Christmas party not being interrupted by a game of 'Stab the Knife into the Millionaire,” Selina argued, out of breath as she helped him haul Bruce toward the door. He was definitely heavy._ _

__“Billionaire,” Jason corrected from where he was crouched on the floor, scratching a little tortoiseshell feline under the chin._ _

__Dick grunted as Selina tried to open the front door for them, leaving most of Bruce's weight on his shoulders. "Jason!" He snapped. "Stop petting the cat and come help!"_ _

__Jason glanced up, holding out a hand so the cat could bump its head against his palm. "Fifty pounds," He reminded Dick.  “I can only carry fifty pounds of him.”_ _

__"I will carry a hundred and fifty pounds of him if you carry your fifty.”_ _

__"He doesn't weigh an even two hundred so you'll be carrying a hundred and sixty pounds of him," Jason corrected, sliding under Bruce's other arm. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. Dick had rather be anywhere but nestled under the arm of a half-dressed Bruce Wayne who just had copious amounts of sex with his rogue girlfriend, and they were on good terms with one another. He was actually a little distracted buy how much Jason seemed to know about Bruce._ _

__Selina followed them to the car, the cold not seeming to bother her even though she was just in a bathrobe. At least, by the way Jason was leering at the thin material, Dick was assuming she was just in her robe with nothing underneath. She opened the rear door to the car and, between the three of them, they wrestled Bruce's near dead weight into it. She kissed Bruce lightly "Merry Christmas. Don't hold this against me._ _

__" As she got back out of the car, Jason slammed the door. He may have slammed it on Bruce's foot. Catwoman offered Jason an entirely charming smile. "Thanks, boys. Now if you'll excuse me for not inviting you in for some eggnog, I have things to do." Surprisingly, she kissed Jason's cheek, then Dick's, before striding down the sidewalk back into her house like she was on a runway._ _

__"I've always wondered about the Christmas-themed lingerie," Jason admitted when they were back in the car. Dick glanced at Bruce in the rear view mirror. He didn't think the man had blinked since they got him into the car. It was like he was unconscious with his eyes open. "I should have asked Selina."_ _

__"I think that was her regular robe," Dick replied as he merged into traffic. "It just happened to be red."_ _

__"I mean, do people do sex acts themed for the appropriate holiday?" Jason continued, unperturbed. "Do you color coordinate your bedroom? Are you using the lingerie as some form of gift-wrapping or are you actually pretending to be a sexy Santa? Or is one person Santa and the other Mrs. Claus?"_ _

__"This is getting into some disturbing territory," Dick noted and it was amazing that he was saying that, with his reputation. "I still think it was just a robe."_ _

__"We can ask Bruce," Jason said with a devilish look that wouldn't exist if Bruce were not completely stoned and covered in hickeys in their back seat. His fingers were tugging at the buttons of his shirt again but he was too uncoordinated to get them undone. Thank God for small miracles. "But I'm thinking Selina just used it as wrapping paper."_ _

__"Did you go through her panty drawer?"_ _

__“I'm wounded you would even think that of me,” Jason declared, hand clutched over his heart. "The lingerie was on the floor. In the kitchen! One of the cats was chewing on the fluffy trim!"_ _

__Dick made another disgusted noise. He caught sight of Bruce moving slightly. "Make sure he's okay," Dick told Jason._ _

__Bruce flipped off of the seat and onto the floorboards, broad shoulders uncomfortably wedged between the back of Dick's seat and the side door._ _

__"He's fine," Jason said. "Can we listen to the radio?"_ _

__\-------  
Everyone was back in by dark, which was good since the line outside the manor for the lights was even more unbelievable than ever.  Alfred had said something about the date and the light dusting of snow falling making the scene picturesque enough to draw even the most adamant of Scrooges out. _ _

__"It's like we're afraid of vampires or something," Steph said with a sigh. She looked up as Dick appeared in the living room they were currently occupying. "How's Bruce?"_ _

__He had told a more edited version of the day's events, partially to protect Bruce's honor but mostly so they didn't have to answer any awkward questions. "Awake and in the shower," Dick answered, obviously relieved. "It wasn't anything a nap and a booster of antidote couldn't fix. He's kind of pissy, though." Only the first Robin would be able to describe Batman as pissy in any context. "Meanwhile," He added, leaning in the doorway. "I was invited to be Barbara's date to the Birds of Prey party going on. I can't even get out of the driveway so I had to cancel. But am I complaining? No."_ _

__"You are complaining right now," Cass told him from where she was perched on the arm of a couch, observing the chess game between Jason and Tim. Jason stood up, relinquishing his chair and his place in the game to her as he approached Dick._ _

__"She's right," He pointed out. "But I bet we can have even more fun," Jason said. Dick looked suspicious, and rightfully so, because Jason was never optimistic and his version of fun sent chills down the spines of most people, even those who considered him family._ _

__"What's that?" Dick asked, hesitant. Jason pointed up. He looked to see some mistletoe taped to the door frame. "Son of a bitch," He said, before Jason punched him._ _

__Steph smiled, stretching out on the couch. "I love this game."_ _

__"Damian placed some in the cave," Cassandra said, all of them ignoring the sounds of the battle going on in the corner of the room and the hallway. Tim glanced up but they all seemed content to pretend the scuffle wasn't happening. "Over the control chair."_ _

__"I thought we weren't playing in the Cave," Tim said, but now he had a horrible suspicion about Damian's absence. Bruce had taken an antidote and rested long enough for it to work. Bruce was in the shower, Dick said. Surely the shower in his bedroom? "But I also thought we weren't moving the mistletoe around once we hung it and that was clearly wrong."  He had the bruises to prove it from an ill-advised early morning trip to the refrigerator._ _

__"We're not _moving_ it," Steph told him. "We just may have purchased some more of it." _ _

__They were interrupted by Bruce and Damian storming in from the hallway opposite the one where Jason and Dick were fighting. "You can't just attack people, Damian," Bruce scolded. The rest of his assorted children suddenly pretended to be interested in anything but the argument. Except for Jason. Jason stopped with Dick in a headlock peeking around the door frame to watch this drama unfold._ _

__"It is in the rules of the game, Father! You heard it clearly." Damian was a combination of defiant and upset, clearly having expected some kind of praise for his ingenuity._ _

__"You knocked me off a cliff with no grapple on my person. That's dangerous, Damian." Bruce was controlling his temper. He really was a better parent now than when he started, Tim thought. He was following all the steps in the manual Tim had printed off for him so long ago. Explain clearly what the child did wrong and then why it was not acceptable._ _

__"I caught you!" Damian argued._ _

__"After I yielded to you," Bruce countered._ _

__"So you did yield to me!" Damian crowed, smirking at his siblings. "Beat that!"_ _

__Bruce rubbed his temples. He was in sweats and Tim could entirely understand why he would be pissed, the fact that it was Damian notwithstanding. Bruce could survive a fall off a cliff in the batcave because Bruce survived anything but if Damian had done it to one of them it might be a different story all together. "Damian..."_ _

__"Let the kid have some fun," Jason snapped. He released Dick from having his head tucked under his arm and Tim couldn't tell who the victor in the fight was, or if there was one at all, except that Jason was obviously annoyed now. "You're the one who agreed to the game, aren't you? Or are the rules for the rest of us different than the rules for yourself?"_ _

__Dick was trying to grab Damian and usher him away like the protective oldest brother he'd turned into. Steph slunk off the couch and out of the room. Tim and Cass were trapped between the fireplace and Bruce, who was quickly being approached by Jason. "We've had a rough afternoon," Tim said cautiously. "Maybe we should just take a step back and..."_ _

__Jason's fist lashed out. Tim went sprawling, only saved from landing in the fire itself by Cass intercepting him, pulling him up to his feet. "Time to go," She said softly. Tim agreed; this was definitely what he got any time he tried to help Jason. Bruce's eyes flickered to him and Tim shrugged as they started for the door. He wasn't too hurt and he wasn't going to be pissed off at Jason for punching him._ _

__But Bruce was. "Is that fun for you, Jason?" He demanded. "Sucker punching your brother? Pushing people off cliffs?"_ _

__"He's not my brother! You're not my father!" Jason yelled. In the past, Tim had thought the declaration from Jason that Bruce wasn't his father was a bit funny and a bit like a teenager rebelling. At least, until he realized how much the words had hurt Bruce. Still hurt Bruce. By leaving the room they weren't just getting Bruce and Jason physical space for the fight to happen, they were giving them emotional space so Bruce didn't have to save face later about the words Jason had spat at him._ _

__"Batgirl and Robin are leaving for patrol early tonight," Dick informed them when he and Cass finally made their way to the kitchen. The kitchen had always seemed like a safe spot; a location of isolation from the insanity that could infest the rest of the house. “The earlier they go the sooner they can get back. Better everyone's back early tonight, right? So go ahead.” Cassandra nodded and started to head toward the cave. The evil gleam in her eye suggested that she, too, had placed some mistletoe around the cave and wanted to reap the benefits._ _

__"They are always like this around the holidays," Alfred lamented as he stirred the apple cider mulling on the stove. There was no question who he was talking about. There was still some definite yelling from the room they'd vacated, though they could no longer hear the words._ _

__"They are always like this," Tim amended. "If we could limit their interactions a bit more and slowly build them up to spending more time together..."_ _

__"It's especially the holidays," Dick told him, voice unreasonably subdued. "All the ones they missed. The few they actually had. It's the time of year to think about what's missing even though you should think about what you have." Alfred placed a hand on his shoulder. Even Tim leaned his head against them for a moment. He might hate the little brat sometimes but he was glad Damian never had to deal with these moments. He was relieved Steph had taken him out and could set him straight if he had any worries over it._ _

__"Fuck you!" Jason yelled from the entry hall. Dick winced. Tim heard Bruce's heavy footsteps following. They rose, reluctantly, to make certain everyone had survived the fight relatively unharmed. "I'm getting the fuck out of Wayne Manor!" Jason hissed, stalking out the front door and slamming it behind him._ _

__Everyone was silent for a moment, absorbing what had just happened. Bruce looked furious, and grief-stricken, and all the emotions that made Tim uncomfortable when he saw them coming from Bruce. He wondered if it would have made Jason uncomfortable, or sorrowful, or even if he would pounce on them as a sign of weakness._ _

__"It will be a quiet night on patrol,” Bruce announced. "They're serving hot chocolate at the end of the lights so it will be more busy than usual here instead. Both of you stay until it's over." He swept out of the room, leaving Tim and Dick staring after him._ _

__"I thought I might take some cider out to give them an alternative to that dreadful chocolate powder," Alfred said, as though the entire fight between Bruce and Jason hadn't just played out. "Perhaps you could test it for me?"_ _

__They sat back at the kitchen table, working out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper until Dick's phone vibrated. He checked it and snorted before tipping the screen to show Tim a text from Jason._ _

__HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET OUT OF WAYNE MANOR?_ _

__"Do you think that's metaphorical?" Dick asked. "Like none of us can ever really leave this place? Or..."_ _

__"I think he's lost in the lights," Tim replied. "They put up that new fencing and the netting to hang more of the lights at the snowman scene."_ _

__Dick pushed his chair back from the table. "I'm on it," He said. "Watch the cameras. Make sure no one gets any ideas just because I'm out there walking around."_ _

__Tim curled his hands around the hot mug of apple cider. "Sure," He agreed. "I'll shoot on sight."_ _

__Dick gave him a look that said it wasn't funny as he went to find a coat._ _

__\----  
"Stop struggling, Little Wing!" Dick dodged a fist to the head that was too well aimed to be accidental. He had already been outside for an hour, trying to locate Jason. They had wandered in circles around one another, sometimes catching glimpses of one another in different areas but unable to take a direct path to actually make contact. Tim was right. There was a lot of new netting to get through. _ _

__At last they had reunited after Jason had become trapped in some transparent line that kept lit up angels floating in the trees. He had wanted to cut it, but Dick worried about the structural integrity of doing so. He didn't want angels crashing into people's cars._ _

__"It's fucking cold and I'm laying in frozen horse shit and Bruce that self-righteous fucker wouldn't even-"_ _

__"I don't care," Dick interrupted. "And we don't even have horses any more."_ _

__"I distinctly saw some horses," Jason groused and hissed as Dick pulled his leg up, stretching it near his head. "Ow! Not all of us are as limber as you, circus boy. And some of us got shot."_ _

__"I forgot about the shooting," Dick admitted before pulling back. "There. You're free." He offered his hand, surprised when Jason took it to lever himself to his feet._ _

__"I could have done it," He said. "If my fingers weren't frozen."_ _

__Dick sighed, stripping off his coat to throw it around Jason's shoulders. It didn't quite fit but it was still warm. "Just say thank you, Jay."_ _

__For a moment he thought there was going to be another argument. Then Jason sagged against him. "Thank you." He paused. "I'm still leaving though. Now how do we get out of here?"_ _

__Dick frowned as he looked around. "I'm not entirely sure," He admitted. "I think if we follow the line of cars we should eventually make it up the hill and then we can go inside if Tim doesn't shoot us on sight." He could feel the question in the look Jason gave him. "Just a joke."_ _

__"I want the exit, Dickie. Not the entrance."_ _

__Dick resisted the dirty joke that could be made of that. "You'll just keep following the cars, then. Make a left at candy cane village and circle around the elf workshop of nightmares."  He paused a moment. “But I wish you would stay.”_ _

__They made it most of the way back with only a few encounters with the people seeing the lights. Dick told them a few times that they were just checking the grounds and they were security and everyone else should stay in their cars. A few people recognized Dick Grayson and took photos as Dick waved. Jason was feeling out of breath. Surprisingly out of breath for the slow climb back to the manor they'd made. "Hey," He said. "When did they put blinking lights in this place?"_ _

__Dick looked. "Jason, those lights aren't blinking."_ _

__Which was when Jason passed out in his arms._ _

__He hauled him up, working on a burst of pure adrenaline as they made it back into the manor. "Alfred! Tim!" His frozen fingers tried to fumble through his pockets for the fast injector that Bruce had him carrying around. Good only when the poison in Jason's bloodstream was active, and of course only Jason would get poisoned with something that was frustratingly difficult to predict._ _

__Tim took over, rummaging through his pockets until he found the vial and injector. Alfred had Jason's shirt off and arm exposed. Jason was sweating, almost too hot to touch. Tim injected him quickly as Dick struggled out of his coat and scarf. "We need to get him downstairs," He wheezed, the effort of pulling Jason inside getting to him. "We have to keep his core temperature down and he'll probably have trouble breathing before the poison runs its course."_ _

__Alfred shook his head. "I will go for equipment. Take him into the guest bedroom on this level." The guest bedroom that Dick was convinced existed only for moments like this. Alfred sprinted in one direction, leaving Tim and Dick dragging Jason to the bedroom._ _

__"Tub?" Tim panted. "With ice?" That was the easiest way to bring a fever down._ _

__Dick shook his head. "Can't. If he needs to be intubated we can't risk water getting in it. Put him on the bed." With two people it was much easier to position him there. "Ice packs," He ordered and Tim obeyed as Dick stripped Jason to his boxers, once again heedless of the bullet wound in his back._ _

__They made short work of getting ice packs on the important areas. Tim cringed in sympathy as he placed the two at his groin over his underwear and Dick would have to remember to tease him about that later. Anyone who had worn the short Robin uniform remembered that feeling; Damian didn't know how lucky he was to have pants. Alfred returned with one set of supplies, dragging Tim away to help him grab the rest and Dick lightly brushed his fingers over Jason's face, counting his breaths to make sure his respiratory system hadn't been compromised. Jason's eyelids fluttered open and Dick almost jumped back._ _

__"Best Christmas," Jason slurred and passed out again._ _

__"I've had better," He muttered. Some Christmas Eve this was turning out to be._ _

__\-----  
Jason slept most of the night and next morning. Ice packs and drugs kept his fever down but he was entirely exhausted. They took turns checking on him, and most of them swore they heard yelling when it was Bruce's turn to sit with him, but by the time Alfred had announced their traditional Christmas Brunch, Jason could unsteadily wobble into the kitchen. The fact that he chose to made everyone relax a tiny bit. Hopefully their issues were worked out, if only for today._ _

__This was also one of the only times they called it brunch, Tim noticed. Normally it was simply breakfast even if they got up at noon to eat it. Patrol last night had been quiet. He'd only had a couple of hours when he managed to slip out after Jason was stable._ _

__No one pointed out Jason had been leaving, not even Bruce. They didn't speak to one another during brunch, but that wasn't unusual either. After brunch they went into the great hall to distribute presents. Their Christmas celebration was modest, considering the wealth surrounding them. Bruce hadn't hosted any events this year to increase the need for decorations._ _

__It took a bit longer than usual as everyone picked a path to avoid any proximity to mistletoe. There were three routes to prevent any intersection and even Bruce took one of them, Damian grinning menacingly as he waited for them to join him in the sitting area._ _

__Jason collapsed into a plush armchair, but he looked increasingly uncomfortable as Cass distributed the gifts. Damian had more, of course, being a child. But Jason was on par with everyone else and he frowned a bit at that fact._ _

__"Stop thinking," Dick murmured to him. "You'll get us back later, I'm sure. But after a night spent terrified that you'd stop breathing? You not making a scene is gift enough."_ _

__Jason didn't know what to say to that, so he opened his presents as unobtrusively as possible. At least until he realized the first present was a very, very ugly sweater that was possibly two sizes too small for him. "What?" He asked as he held it up. "Am I supposed to hulk out of this?"_ _

__"Well," Steph said, waggling her eyebrows. "If you want to give us all a show..."_ _

__Jason laughed, much to the surprise of everyone gathered, and even Bruce cracked a bit of a smile. He looked tired. Tim knew he'd been patrolling late and whatever had happened with Jason had taken at least a couple of hours when he got back._ _

__The social niceties of the season having been enforced into him by a month of intense reminders, Damian thanked everyone for the gifts they got him. He thanked them even when he didn't seem to realize the gift was a joke or know what to do with whatever he received. For everyone else there were some joke gifts mixed in with genuinely useful things, as always, and Tim thought it might go off without a hitch. At least until Steph wandered under some mistletoe while modeling her new house slippers and was set upon by Damian and Cassandra. "No teams!" She yelled, beating Damian over the head with a pillow._ _

__Bruce took the opportunity to sidle over to Jason. He looked supremely awkward and Tim and Dick watched warily, attention divided between the disaster of their siblings fighting and the disaster in the making._ _

__"It's late," Bruce explained and handed Jason a set of keys with a bow neatly wrapped around the ring. A set of _car_ keys. Dick almost swallowed his tongue. Tim looked confused. Jason was staring at Bruce, face gone totally blank, and Dick thought he'd seen that look when Jason gunned people down in cold blood. Bruce stared levelly back, wearing his board meeting executive face._ _

__"Fuck you, Old Man," Jason whispered. His fingers curled around the keys, pressing them into his palm._ _

__Bruce smiled._ _

__Tim felt safe enough to get up, intending to grab a few trash bags to help clean up the mess of wrapping paper. They had established a rule about Alfred working on Christmas, but if you weren't fast enough he managed to sneak around you and clean anyway. He was so intent on watching Bruce and Jason that he didn't pay attention to the path he was taking._ _

__At least not until Steph was wrapped around his legs below the knees like a giant, terrifying cat. "Uhm, Steph?" He asked, trying to take another step._ _

__"Mistlefoe," She whispered and kissed his kneecap. Right before Cassandra pounced on his back._ _

__He was embarrassed by the girlish scream he let out. He liked to think it was the sound of betrayal. "I thought we said no teams!"_ _

__Jason was grinning like a maniac. Neither Bruce nor Dick were certain if it was because of the car or because he was witnessing Tim get a Bat-sanctioned beat down. Alfred stepped politely over the pile of young adults wrestling on the floor, returning with a trash bag for the torn wrapping paper._ _

__"Master Damian," He said calmly. "I suggest you do not even think to 'mistlefoe' me as you are still unable to create that creme brulee you so enjoy."_ _

__Damian unpeeled himself from the side of the decorative sculpture he had been hiding against, sulkily going back to the chair he had occupied earlier. The chair that was now under a bundle of mistletoe toe, courtesy of some very covert acrobatics._ _

__Dick smirked at him, lunging before Damian had time to react and planning a wet, loud kiss on the side of his face. Damian struggled but there was no resisting Dick when he went into cuddlesquid mode and he soon had wrapped himself around Damian's smaller form with a cry of "Merry Christmas, little D!"_ _

__“This is not Mistlefoe!” Damian yelled, clawing the older man like that would have any impact whatsoever. It made Dick hold on all the more tightly. “Grayson! This is not in the agreed upon rules!”_ _

__"I'm disturbed," Jason announced and looked at the butler. "Think I can get a plate to go for dinner, Alfie?"_ _

__Alfred sighed. "After the destruction of some priceless paintings during the great food fight of four years ago, it has become a rule that all holiday meals must be consumed at the table." His gaze softened as he finished pushing more brightly colored paper into the bag. "But of course you are welcome to stay, Master Jason."_ _

__Jason hesitated. Bruce looked frozen, afraid to say anything in case it was the wrong thing. Damian started to say something but Dick shushed him again except for squawks of outrage. Bruce and Jason had to work it out, no matter how awkward it was going to be._ _

__"Alright," Jason agreed at last. "As long as I'm out by dark. Those fucking lights are better than any security system. I might hire this company to rig some of my safehouses."_ _

__"I'm definitely investing in the netting," Bruce agreed. "Let me show you which slot in the garage is yours."_ _

__"I could find it," Jason argued, pulling himself slowly out of his chair. "It's the hot pink Barbie dream convertible, right? Dick said something about rocket launchers and an ejector seat."_ _

__Bruce shot him a look. Dick grinned innocently, jerking as Damian dug a bony elbow into his diaphragm. "Geez, you're pointy," He gasped out._ _

__"Damian," Bruce said, stopping the squirming nearly instantly. "Why don't you join us? I believe there's a gift for you waiting in the side garden." Damian bolted for the garden, leaving Dick following at a more sedate pace, giving Bruce and Jason time to talk as they walked side by side. Of course neither of them did, but there was an illusion of privacy._ _

__"A pony!" Damian yelled before Dick heard the tell-tale nicker of some kind of equine._ _

__"That's such a stereotypical rich kid present," Tim muttered from somewhere behind him._ _

__Jason looked at him smugly as they walked into the garage. "I _knew_ I saw a horse."_ _


End file.
